Category Archives: heart

and yet



no trespassing…
it must be expressed
i guess
even though
i already know
that it’s not my place
within this space
i already know
this is so
and yet
i bet
if i did go
i would not need to
my face



Image: photo taken in New Athens, Illinois . 2016


#4 from the list of seven changes

Speak softly instead of loudly

I have found that speaking louder has never helped me get anyone’s attention, nor has it helped to get a point across. A loud voice reminds me of all the colourful balloons and flags that a store puts out on the sidewalk when business is not good, trying to get folks to notice. The store is soon out of business anyway. The loud flags are a last-ditch effort to gain attention, but not good attention.  All the flags in the world won’t change what’s inside the store.  It just screams “going out of business because no one wants to shop here.” It’s a way of making everyone that goes by feel like they are cared about only for their money.

Now, to speak-up when a crowd of people are trying to hear me, is a totally different story. I’m thinking about looking at my tone and my timing, allowing for a softer voice in my daily conversation.

I need to fight the urge to interrupt and speak-over people to say something…because otherwise i forget what i wanted to say if i wait. And now i am thinking that perhaps what i have to say is not as important as continuing to listen. Because how a person is spoken to matters just as much, if not more, than what is being said. What is powerful, is how the other person is made to feel. How one is made to feel can, by itself, wipe out anything that is said, can take the place of words, or can make a person either want to hear words or make them not want to hear them at all.

I think that waiting until a time that a softer voice can be used is a way of showing respect toward another person. A soft tone can express caring to the other person. And i think that the other person can feel this care very deeply.


photo from flickr



A choice is made. But, it takes a person ages to realize the immensity of it. We know that it was a choice to follow Jesus. We are brought to a place of awareness that, somewhere along the line, we have made the choice that our heart knows is right. And we find that choice being renewed over and over again as our minds and hearts are being renewed.

We had no idea what changes would take place in our heart. We did not know of all the breaking and comforting; or for that matter, all the Grace.

We start a process of being retaught, sometimes forgetting just who the teacher is, we are constantly being brought back on track as God speaks to us. He speaks to our spirit with His Holy Spirit. He speaks with a soft voice to our heart. And when we don’t listen, He waits…until we are ready to listen again.

Eventually we understand that we are to listen to His voice, and to do what He says. It must be His voice. And we know His voice. Our heart has always known his voice. And still we are constantly brought back on track. That never changes.

And one day we look around and find just how much change has taken place. It can be encouraging, and sometimes scary. But, still, our heart knows that we are in good hands.

If we are quiet and we listen, we know who God is, and who we are. And we know that the immensity is a very great Love that brings us home.

dance of death


i can go there
so easily
to wish for something
oh, mother
life is a bitch
when i won’t be satisfied
when i deny
the beauty
in front of my eyes
and i wail
of my loss
that i alone have caused
as i have wanted
what i do not have
and only need is fed
as it consumes me





God willing, the plan is… for cj and i to be leaving soon on a road trip,  
to travel to and through quite a few states around the country.  It is our
waves of June. I am, with purpose, planing to spend very little time on-line.
I don’t know how much i will even use the things i am taking along with the
objective to use them; of which are paper, pens, pencils, coloured pencils,
watercolour and at least one camera.
I have been sitting with this thought that it is mostly a matter of place.
At this point, i think that it is important that all of me (heart, soul, mind,
body, spirit) is mostly in the same place at the same time. 
I must say that i have learned a little about my own reasons for relating and the
ways that i choose to do it from blogging, and by using facebook and twitter.
I have met lovely people on-line that have a similar kind of belief, of which have
helped me to grow in faith.  At the same time that i have been growing in faith,
i have also been growing in awareness that i need to be taking a step away from
my dependence upon internet relating.
There has been much positive interaction and encouragement, but, that’s 
part of what makes it so insidious.
It is time…for me… to take a step toward the people in my physical presence.  
I am not saying that one form of communication is more real than another. 
And yet, there is a difference.  I need to point-out that many of us can easily
let our internet interaction take the better part of us.  
It can take too much, and leave little to give to face to face, friends, family,
and  in the place where we are.  And i surely can see that the place that 
we do our physical living in each moment is a powerful place and it is the
place where the goodness for society starts to break-down if our hearts
and minds are not there.
It’s also the place where God is best shared when we spend time
with our heart, mind, soul, body, spirit closer to being on the same page.
Powerful, grace-filled moments.
I know that we all could share more of God when we give God the whole package.
I know that when i relate too much by way of the internet, my mind and heart
can travel to places other than where i am.  And when i depend on it too much
i am divided, and i am not sharing what is truly needed in the place where i am.
Other things besides the internet could do this just as well.  Like work, fear, 
worries, sickness, addiction, envy, desire, the list goes on and on.  Some things
we can do something about, some things not so much.  
But, am i the only one that is feeling this way about the internet relating?

there is




there is
a current
that flows
no one has seen
where it comes from
or where it goes
but it makes it’s way
blowing through 
hearts open
like fresh air
through a window 
on a summer’s day




who do you love

you’re a sweet orange
playing the blues
with no rhyme
sticky words
of my wicked heart
that will not
listen to you
when it hears
the whisper of words
that sing in golden hue