there she stands
at the end of the land
thirty trips around the sun
plus two
she has come
to this place
looking for the
darkest blackberry
of july

look at my past

the past of my father

the past my mother

methodist england wales

catholic germany

small towns

southern illinois

man marries

and goes into the air force

the woman

no one talked about

didn’t wait

he marries again

a catholic girl

her father would not have it

the family disowned her

my mother

how could they

when i was young

we visited her mother

her father in a wheelchair

thin

weak

silent

grandma gave me

butter and sugar on bread

she had a german accent

she was sweeter than pie

(thirty four years and july means blueberries)

divorce and your new life in marriage did not erase our past.
though it changed the future.

our memories. the goodness that was also ours.
i remember everything

cheers from across the room
i will never run out of kisses
i love you written on my back with your finger

bow nights
concerts
biscuits and cornbread
denny road boys
running to the phone with only a towel
champagne
christmas carols
driving icy roads
wedding
babies
ducks
the year of the flood and Casey
taking Sydney everywhere
my mental depression
missing being loved
wondering why you stopped loving me
not being what you wanted or needed
still loving you
building a house
resentment
home
work then wine making
kids and school
grocery shopping
hand-washing dishes
family
your friends

i am not glad to be rid of you
but i am grateful that you are happy

i would like to see you now and then

if i could visit i would love to
i know that she would not understand
wives rarely do
thinking they will lose love

but i know she will never loose your love and respect
she never did

too bad she doesn’t realize this

i have my dreams

people find sin in loving more than one person…
there is the two headed monster called jealousy and fear

i try to ignore this terrible monster
because it is not love

life is very amazing
and quite strange

ego and others
me and we
money and greed
love
home
need

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=L21Tc_DtL6M

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