This is me, now, on the inside. Yes, I have to admit that I am many ages that insist on coming along for the ride. They don’t let go. Intent on being part of my heart and soul, no matter where I have gone or what I have done.

I look at this picture and I wonder what made me think, all of my life, that I was not pretty. I believe that I listened to the lies and the pressure, and compared myself with people that seemed better than me, smarter than me, prettier than me.  And all along, I did not realize that I was not the only one that felt the need to be accepted.  Today, I know that everyone, of all ages, have their own struggles. And comparing oneself with others is a dead end job. However a certain love is life-giving.

I hope to be able to look past differences, or my own feelings of dissatisfaction or fear, and instead allow Love to be where it is needed. And for this love to feed the hunger and the longing and to give the peace that is beyond our understanding.

It is no use having any armor that is not of the Light. God is what is left when everything else is taken away. The greatest of what is left to anyone, is the living Love that is God, the power that we know personally, and yet we don’t understand in a way that we can put into words.

It is there in spite of our human pettiness, rules, desires, hate, finger pointing, greed, …stupidity, laziness, needs, …expectations of others and ourselves, …selfishness, and fear. It is there, despite all the things that we are, and that we can not be.

We seem to find it impossible to simply give our heart for love in God, and secondly give love to others.  That is just not in our practice of feeding ourselves with what we make… or buy… or build for ourselves…or do for God what we choose.

We don’t listen. We take a simple command and make it into what we want.

All the while, the power is there, in the simple words of directing one’s heart to Love God… and in doing so, connect to the power of light and Love that works in ways beyond our understanding.  And we do not need to understand.  We are children, of all ages, we are children. Good and bad, we are. It is what it is. If anyone compares someone as worse or better, it takes our eyes off of the truth.

Comparison will get believers in Christ nowhere. Finger pointing at others will get believers in Christ nowhere.  As children we have a heart and soul to connect to the greatest power there is.  In simplicity, it is a most important thing that is asked of us.

No one is blameless.  No one is all good.  We get confused about what is real and what is right. And truly it is easy abandon compassion and mercy when we don’t see any need for it, and we don’t know or accept a person.  If there is a person that we see that is different and seems like a threat to what we have or what we know, it is not likely that love or compassion is the first thing on our minds.  After all, the fact is that there are people that are desperately set on hurting others.  Some are lacking the ability to think any other way.

I don’t think that compassion or love ignores those facts.  I think that it exists because of those facts.  There are many different kinds of problems.  Some of our problems are easily seen, like the problems that can appear as fat, anger, hostility, depression.  And there are some problems that are not easily seen, like stealing money, abuse, addictions, things that can be kept in the home or hidden away.  Our problems vary, and are usually harmful.

We can’t pretend that there are people that don’t have problems.  Everyone does.

That is why Love and compassion is a gift.  We need it.

photograph by nancy marie davis

Bits of something.
One never knows how many snow flakes it takes
before one lands on your nose.

art by nancy marie davis

Everyone and anyone who comes in contact with a child is minding the store. That child is in your hands. You are responsible. Every single thing counts. Love or hate. Acceptance or rejection. Attention or indifference. Everything becomes a part of them. You, having been a child, knows this is true. You remember the words and the people. It made a difference if you were shown love or respect. Stop putting children down. Stop making them feel unworthy. Stop yelling at them. Stop and look into the eyes and heart of the child. Love.

he makes us
makes us relent
bleed out
our own self
yearn for relief
our heart stops
hurting
never
from the nearness
this war
of spirit we are
ever
wanting
holding to death
unaware
we think we are done
when the war of dying
has just begun

I am not going to dwell on where I don’t fit in. And I am not going to feel sorry that I can not have who or what I would like to have. I am going to look at what people are, and what they are to me now. What they can be now. And I want to be happy with that. Not feeling sorry for myself, but instead feeling how very lucky I am to have people in my life at all.

i don’t own
a home
or steeple
and i depend
on the friend
in people
i am barely here
and sometimes there
like a ghost
slipping through a keyhole

❖

the sky was falling,
but it still looked blue.
the flower stood tall and pink.

what proof do i have?
it’s what i saw.

what i wanted to see.
the petals.
the miracle moment.

seeing

is not believing.
faith is not seeing.

love
is not enough
on its own.

✜

sunlight caught in the middle of tiny leaves
green flaming butterfly wings on black branches
feeling more like a new year than january ever did
the last breath of winter carried on the wind
i am in no hurry to plant or weed
or pay head to watering, sunscreen, or
hiding from the heat
i love a light breeze and lilacs showing purple

the words are old
feelings through the ages
we can make new words
we can make love
it will feel new

there
are little
somethings
along
the way

a little
goodness
to keep
you

a little
kick in the
pants

a little
kiss
smile
word
or
wink

a little
blink
in time