I’m not going to a church service today. I know that much.
It’s true. I don’t want to join a denominational religion. And
if i don’t join, and join-in, and become part of the program, i
am an outsider. I realize that, and i understand it. It is tiring
to be the continual visitor in a denominational group of believers.
Continually facing the truth of not being a part of the group in
which i think i should naturally feel a part of. I know, it’s
seems an unreal expectation. Usually i can take part and let
go of this expectation, and then some days i am just too
tired to do it.
When it comes to denominations, it is much easier to be either
in or out. I just can’t do all that it takes to be called by their name.
It’s not that i don’t accept the people the way that they are,
it is more like i can’t accept “being” all that it takes to be called
by their name. Not the name christian, but the denominational
name. Though i must say that the name christian has many
meanings beyond simply being a follower of Christ.
These are morning thoughts, but, they are my sunday morning
thoughts. Not the same as other days, just as my thoughts
around christmas are not the same as other days.
These thoughts are about how i am different.
Different than non-believers,
and different than denominational believers.
Different than book-writing believers.
Different than right-wing believers.
Different than all the “groups” of believers.
I feel as if i’m a believer without a home.
Which makes sense, actually.
For that is what i am.
I am a believer,
and this place is not a believer’s home.
The only true believer’s home, is in Jesus.
Me in Jesus and Jesus in me.