the third thursday of the month, that’s what it is, and not what i am.
though i have to admit, it is a part of me.
i miss some of the people in my life that are dead, or that i can not talk to
or be with, or in some way communicate with.
i miss being able to see them, talk with them, touch them, or share words and
sometimes i am doing something and for a flash of a moment i think of
how i would like to share it with my mom or dad, and within that flash,
the remembering that they are gone.
those flash moments lead to thoughts that are pleasantly disturbing in that i do
remember being able to share with them, even though i no longer can.
actually, i can see both of my parents to a degree whenever i look in the mirror.
bits and pieces of them are in me, along with the people that came before them…
many of whom i have never met.
i miss a few teachers, the good ones that were understanding. they are like
shadows that follow me. they became part of me.
family, friends, pets, created things. there is a time that each is in my life and
becomes a part of me to some degree. and how much a part of me it becomes
does not always match up to how much time is involved in the experience.
a connection can be made in a year, on every third thursday of the month, or
by just one word or one glance.
i know there are times that the connection seems only on my part, i can
enjoy being present with someone or something and later miss it dearly. or i can
take something for granted and not realize the connection until the experinece is past.
but, still, it has become a part of me, each moment, sound, and sight, each person,
every word, scent and touch, every smile, frown, hello and goodbye.
it’s all here within me, and is part of what is used to change me into what i am becoming.
photo . “cj’s lips”